Alright, so anyone played Assassin’s Creed yet? You should, period. Well unless you are a completist and a PS3 owner; because then you’ll probably want to end it now. Why would I say this you might ask, why does Assassin’s Creed hurt the hardcore completist who spent a large amount of coin to buy a kickass blu-ray player/gaming machine (that order may have changed this christmas, …maybe)? Well being a completest myself, I have spent hours and hours and hours collecting heart pieces, masks, rupees, special items, huge swords, tokens, diamonds, crystals, rings, berries, bells, notes, glowing circles, killing sprees, knobs, mushrooms, silver skulls, gold skulls, gold skulltulas, dumb cartoon anime monsters AND fucking hundreds of stars. But now, NOW I have hundreds of damn flags to get. The completest joy/nightmare is seeing a task such as this and going head on to find every last one of these arbitrary things. Game developers know about our kind, our crazy insane stupid kind who will replay large portions of mission in order to get that hard ass stealth kill and achieve, well, an achievement to dazzle the other strange unique folk who now live beyond the recognition of the self and now seek that recognition online through XBOX live gamerscores.

Traditionally we have relied on the game itself for satisfaction, be it through upgraded health or more useful tools like in __(insert Zelda game here). BUT Assassin’s Creed does one better, it takes the variety of different collectibles and makes them all the same! Also, it gives you no upgrade whatsoever, no increased health, no new weapons, not even some random hot NPC whose says OH thank you strange man for collecting my stupid dumbass chickens here is a bottle with nothing in it! You get nothing.

Jade may be right in saying that are really more designed as save points which they do accomplish, because there is no way to save the game otherwise, unless you save something or complete a mini-mission. But that means the game developers thought it was a good idea to hide the save points in weird dark areas and make them disappear once you found them making it impossible to use them again. The only solution is to make hundreds of them around a massive city in hopes you will never need to tread on a place you have previously visited and only need to save when you randomly find a save flag.

Well here is where things get even worse. You see, beyond the save feature, the flags will give you an XBOX Achievement if you “collect them all,” so you at least have some gamerscore cred. But PS3 owners, well, they are shit out of luck. No Achievement for you, nope. What you get for the elite hardcore completest is jack shit.

Conclusion, buy Assassin’s Creed for XBOX 360, and if you have the PS3 one and arn’t a completest make sure you update it and set your PS3 to full RGB mode. Otherwise the game will look like ass.

thanks for reading, btw Assassin’s Creed is awesome, so check it out

Andrew signing off, from another Rockstar filled, 2am game rant.

As this is a blog, in the spirit of the new year and the sense of self-importance born of post modernism, I thought I would let you all—the loyal readership of Homebr00d that keep coming back each week for another taste—in on some insight into what lies in the year ahead. Although we try (very very hard, in fact) to post twice weekly and to keep the updates regular, we often miss these deadlines. Rest assured we are generally a few comics ahead, so it’s not for lack of content, but rather for lack of a good webmaster.

*Andrew has hacked this blog*

Andrew: Hey, wtf did you say about me? We’re lacking a “good webmaster”? Do you know how hard I try to keep up with your impossible standards and you relentless pursuit of perfection while simultaneously trying to keep my own life together and communicate these anxieties all in one huge run-on sentence?!

Adam: Dude, it was a joke. Is there something else you want to talk about, maybe something on your min—

Andrew: Shove it up your ass.

*Andrew has left the conversation*

Adam: Anyways, back to the new year: 2008. What lies in store for these characters, you ask? Well, very briefly in an attempt to maintain some elements of narrative intrigue and surprise, the characters of Homebr00d will: embark on many a quests in search of the golden nectar, foray into the dating scene, time/space travel, meet their idols, make love to a clan of Amazonians, leap from tall buildings in a single bound, run faster than a speeding bullet and—well I just made those last three up. But, for the most part, the rest is true. Of course there’ll also be the occasional game review comic, what with Metal Gear Solid 4, GTA 4, Super Smash Bros. and Haze coming out, and a few new skit series…es…series’. Serieses. “Good” but not “great”, you say? Well then how does a number of new characters and a possible new (second) comic series sound? That’s what I thought, so stick around; we’ll be here for a while. Also, since this site is (currently) ad-free, we ask, nay we plead, for you tell you tell your friends about us!

And that’s how the cookie crumbles.

Till next time,

Adam